You might be familiar with love languages in the context of romantic relationships. But did you know that they can offer insights and strategies that support people in other contexts?
Take the workplace for example. It’s a space that requires communication, criticism, and cooperation. Wouldn’t it be easier to relate and interact with your colleagues if you understood how they give and receive feedback and appreciation?
Neurodivergent folks, in particular, could benefit from a workspace that understands their unique strengths and challenges while supporting them in a way that their neurospicy brains can connect with.
How does adult ADHD impact work?
Work can be challenging for people with ADHD because traditional workplaces often rely on structured schedules, self-regulation, and executive functioning skills — areas where ADHD brains struggle.
While your ADHD colleagues can be workplace superheroes (at times), they may face daily challenges with organization, focus, and productivity.
Here’s why:
🧠 Executive function challenges
ADHD affects the brain’s executive functions, which control planning, organization, time management, and decision-making. This can make it hard to:
- Prioritize tasks: everything can feel equally important, which = major overwhelm.
- Start or finish projects: failure to launch (without Matthew McConaughey’s witty banter).
- Follow multi-step instructions: tasks that require remembering multiple steps can be tricky.
🪩 Difficulty with focus and attention regulation
People with ADHD don’t just have trouble staying focused — they also struggle with controlling focus. This means:
- Getting easily distracted by noise, movement, or internal thoughts.
- Zoning out in long meetings or missing details in instructions.
- Hyperfocusing on the wrong task and getting deeply absorbed in something not urgent while ignoring deadlines.
⏰ Time blindness and procrastination
ADHD brains experience time differently, leading to:
- Underestimating how long tasks take (causing last-minute stress).
- Forgetting deadlines or struggling to break work into manageable steps.
- Procrastinating until urgency kicks in because the brain needs pressure to activate.
😧 Sensory sensitivities and overstimulation
Workplaces can be loud, chaotic, and full of distractions, which can overwhelm neurospicy brains.
- Noisy offices make it hard to concentrate.
- Too many emails, notifications, and tasks create mental clutter.
- Uncomfortable work environments, like harsh lighting or restrictive dress codes, affect performance
💔 Rejection sensitivity and workplace feedback
Many people with ADHD experience Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), making workplace interactions emotionally intense. This can mean:
- Taking criticism personally — even constructive feedback can feel devastating.
- Fear of letting people down, leading to perfectionism or burnout.
- Struggling with imposter syndrome, feeling like they’re always “behind.”
How can you support ADHD co-workers with love languages?
ADHD and relationships, especially in the workplace, can be tricky to navigate. But understanding how someone gives and receives love (or feedback, instructions, and praise, in the case of the workplace) can go a long way toward making your co-workers with ADHD feel welcome and supported - which, in turn, enables them to be the very best teammates they can be.
💬 Words of affirmation
ADHD often comes with a history of being criticized for forgetfulness, disorganization, or impulsivity. So, positive reinforcement in the workplace can help build confidence, motivation, and a sense of belonging.
ADHD brains thrive on immediate and direct feedback, so offering encouragement in the moment can reinforce good work habits and boost morale.
- Give specific praise on a job well done: Instead of saying, “Great job,” try, “I noticed how quickly you jumped in to solve that issue. Your problem-solving skills really helped the team today.”
- Send supportive messages via email or chat: Positive reinforcement doesn’t have to be formal. A quick Slack or email message can remind them they’re valued.
🐕🦺 Acts of service
For people with ADHD, small barriers — like an unclear meeting agenda, an overwhelming to-do list, or difficulty prioritizing tasks — can feel like major roadblocks.
Offering practical, thoughtful support that reduces stress without undermining independence is a great workplace strategy incorporating an ADHD love language. The key is to offer help, not take over, so your colleague feels supported rather than micromanaged.
- Offering help when they’re overwhelmed: People with ADHD tend to hyperfocus on tasks they enjoy while struggling to start or finish others, leading to last-minute scrambles. If you notice your colleague is stressed, offer specific help rather than a vague “Let me know if you need anything.”
- Helping with task prioritization without taking over: ADHD can make it difficult to judge which tasks are most urgent or important. Offering guidance on breaking tasks into steps or creating a clear priority list can make a big difference.
🎁 Gifts
A well-timed, thoughtful gift (especially one that acknowledges your neurodivergent colleague's needs or celebrates their achievements) can be a practical and meaningful way to support them.
- Bringing in their favorite snack or coffee: ADHD brains often forget to eat or struggle with energy dips, especially during long workdays.
- Sharing helpful productivity tools or resources: If your company provides workplace accommodations, you could also encourage them to request ADHD-friendly tools like noise-canceling headphones or ergonomic office supplies. “I found this project management template that helps with prioritization — thought you might like to check it out.”
🕐 Quality time
In a fast-paced workplace where distractions are constant, offering your time and presence can make a significant difference, especially for colleagues with ADHD.
- Setting up check-ins to discuss work challenges: ADHD can make it hard to self-assess progress or know when to ask for help. Regular check-ins give your colleagues a structured opportunity to address challenges before they escalate.
- Being present and engaged when they seek support: Neurodivergent brains often process information externally, meaning they may need to “talk things out” to clarify their thoughts. Instead of multitasking while they’re speaking, pause, make eye contact, and actively listen.
🙏 Physical touch (with boundaries)
Physical touch is the trickiest love language to navigate in a professional setting. Many people with ADHD crave sensory input but it’s crucial to respect personal boundaries and workplace policies when considering this love language.
- High fives or fist bumps (if comfortable): A casual, celebratory gesture like a high five, fist bump, or shoulder pat can be just the ticket for reinforcement and motivation.
- Using warm and engaging body language: Even without physical contact, your body language can create a sense of connection. Many ADHD folks are highly sensitive to tone, facial expressions, and nonverbal cues, so being mindful of your engagement matters.
ADHD love languages that work for work
Understanding and applying the five love languages in the workplace isn’t just about improving relationships — it’s about creating an inclusive, supportive environment where colleagues with ADHD can thrive.
But sometimes more support is needed. That’s where an ADHD coach can help. ADHD coaching provides personalized strategies for improving time management, focus, and productivity while also addressing common struggles like procrastination, workplace communication, and burnout.
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