How self-reflection helps ADHD minds reach goals

Setting effective goals and actually achieving them — have you ever done it?

For neurotypicals, setting goals, big or small, is something that happens seamlessly. They plot a course and set milestones and deadlines to help them get where they want to go.

But your ADHD brain doesn’t love the vibe of linear (aka boring) progression. It craves excitement, stimulation, and rewards. Not to mention that your executive function and memory center struggle to remember the goal sometimes, let alone track progress over time.

Achieving goals takes patience, intention, honesty, and persistence. It’s no surprise, then, that your neurospicy brain is not keen! But that’s where reflection comes in. It encourages multiple selfisms.

• Self-reflection
• Self-esteem
• Self-confidence
• Self-awareness

Let’s get into it.

Understanding ADHD brains and achieving goals

Before learning how reflection is essential to the ADHD brain, we must understand why setting and achieving goals is so hard to begin with.

Executive function challenges

ADHD brains have to contend with impulsivity, time-blindness, motivation and follow-through issues, and task paralysis. These are all aspects of executive functioning that make setting and achieving goals more challenging for people with ADHD.

Getting specific

To achieve a goal, you have to know the steps needed to reach it. Sounds simple enough, right? Wrong.

Do you tend to focus on the “big picture” but have no idea how to get there?

Your neurodiverse brain might struggle to break down the big goal into smaller, manageable chunks. When you can’t see a clear path to achieve what you want, your brain starts to panic.

• A large goal can feel abstract or overwhelming because you can’t see a clear path forward.
• Without those smaller stepping-stone tasks leading the way, achieving your goal can feel like a single, insurmountable mountain. ⛰️

Motivation

Like a magpie, you’re easily distracted by shiny, interesting things. 💍 Your brain thrives on novelty, immediate rewards, and that heady dopamine rush. Unfortunately, working towards long-term goals is often pretty boring. That means you’re more likely to abandon tasks for more exciting options. Understandable, but not helpful for achieving goals.

Focus

People with ADHD find it challenging to prioritize tasks. You might notice that you burn out trying to achieve your goals because you’re doing a million things at once, constantly switching tasks, and spreading yourself too thin.

📈 Using reflection as a growth tool

You’ve probably seen the quote, “My brain is like an internet browser. I have 17 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no idea where the music is coming from.”

Reflection can be the system reboot your brain needs to clear some of the clutter that stops you from achieving your goals. It creates a space where you can go through those open tabs, close the ones you no longer need, and open new ones.

🧠 Reflection can help your ADHD brain:

• Recognize behavior patterns that stop you from achieving your goals.
• Identify your procrastination or paralysis triggers.
• Deal with the emotional responses (like frustration or overwhelm) that derail your progress.
• Pause, assess, and reframe your behavior to avoid a shame spiral and take meaningful action.

🚩 But what happens if you don’t prioritize reflection?

• You may end up repeating bad habits and ineffective behavior patterns that are stopping you from honestly assessing your challenges and putting strategies in place.
• A feeling of “being stuck” might hit you hard because you haven’t taken the time to notice and celebrate your progress. If you sit in that feeling for too long, there is a higher chance of you abandoning your goal.
• You might resent your goal because you haven’t taken the time to assess if it’s still important or if your plan works with your strengths and challenges.
• You let yourself down. If reflection isn’t part of your goal-achieving strategy, you leave no room for accountability. Being aware of your avoidance behaviors is key to creating a proactive plan that works for your unique brand of ADHD.

Why reflection works for adult ADHD brains

Reflection creates a pocket of space that gives you clarity on what works and what doesn’t. ADHD brains are busy, and you have to be intentional, taking a step away from the noise to fully get a sense of your progress.

Self-awareness

Working with your ADHD brain means understanding what makes it tick. Reflection helps you develop the kind of self-awareness that allows you to create strategies that align with your strengths.

Reflection also helps you identify challenges. When you look back at past experiences, you can spot and avoid the problems that might stop you from reaching your goals.

Self-esteem

The more you work with your brain, the more competent and confident you will be in your ability to achieve your goals.

When you do the thing you said you would, you learn to trust yourself. It’s about progress, not perfection. That trust can shift you from a place of self-criticism to one of problem-solving. Reframing your failures as learning opportunities means less shame and frustration.

Reflecting on your progress helps you develop a mindset of growth and resilience. That means you can put that out-of-the-box brain to good use and develop strategies that keep you moving forward rather than feeling stuck. It’s easy to get caught up in the overwhelming feeling of doing all the things! However, recognizing your progress before rushing to the next task creates space for celebrating small wins, which keeps you motivated and confident.

Using reflection to get what you want

Not only does reflection help you acknowledge and learn from your setbacks, but it also helps you remember your ‘Why?’

Your ADHD brain likes high stakes. If you’re not fully invested in the goal, sticking with the steps needed to achieve it will be tricky.

🔦 Reflection shines a light on:

• The deeper meaning behind your motivation.
• Whether or not your goals align with your values.
• The energy and time you have available for achieving a goal.
• The need to pivot when something isn’t working.
• The connection between your thoughts, actions, and outcomes.

Taking a good, hard look at your progress (or lack thereof) can help you adjust your strategy. By actively reviewing your actions, you can make better decisions, celebrate milestones, and create coping strategies to manage the impulsivity and overwhelm of adult ADHD.

Reflection doesn’t have to be a solo thing

Reflection is like a muscle. 💪 It’s a skill you can train and strengthen. But you don’t have to do it alone. If you find yourself in need of additional support and guidance, an ADHD coach can be an invaluable partner, empowering you to unlock your full potential and achieve your goals. Online ADHD coaching can help you develop personalized systems and reflection strategies and receive the encouragement necessary to stay the course.

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