ADHD Love Languages & 5 Ways to Show You Care

We’re coming up to that special day, that day where we celebrate love ❤️‍🔥.

Regardless of if you’re obsessed with Valentines day, or you think Valentines Day is overrated (”why do I have to show my love exactly on this particular day someone else decided?”), or simply are neutral to the holiday… we can all agree that demonstrating our love to each other and ourselves is critical. So take up this guide this week, or maybe 6 months from now.

For us, Valentine’s day is all about showing up, and showing love - in all shapes, types and sizes. Today is about celebrating the love you feel toward a partner, a friend, a family member, and most importantly yourself.

However, expressing love and affection can sometimes be challenging, and we might struggle to find the right words to articulate our feelings, especially if we don't have a natural way with words.

Ever find yourself feeling:

“Gosh! I wish I had said that better”

“It is so hard to put my feelings into words”

“How can they think I don’t care? It’s so obvious! I love them so much”

Trust us, we’ve been there too.

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The 5 ADHD Love Languages

Love is a language - one which is spoken and understood differently by each person. It is the most beautiful, but also difficult thing about it. The silver lining here, is that you have much more than words to work with.

You’ve likely heard of the five love languages. For those who are unfamiliar, the five love languages are physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, and acts of service. The idea behind the love languages is that individuals give and receive love in different ways, and recognizing and understanding these differences can improve communication and strengthen relationships. For ADHD & neurodiverse individuals specifically, here are some ways the five love languages can help:

1. Physical touch: Physical contact can be a powerful way of expressing love. Deep pressure or big bear hugs can be a reassuring way to show your love to someone you care about. Remember that each person is different, and make sure to test the waters before jumping on someone!
2. Quality time: ADHD can be make it difficult to stay focused & present, but spending intentional quality time together can help strengthen the bond. Offering to body double, or just keeping someone company and accountable while they do their tasks, is a great way to start.
3. Words of Affirmation: Words have a big impact on relationships, and can be a powerful source of emotional support. Being present & encouraging when someone is info-dumping (sharing information about an interest or passion with lots of detail) will show them you care.
4. Gifts: For those who like to give and receive gifts as a form of love, it often isn’t about monetary value! Try penguin pebbling (coming from penguins giving small pebbles to other penguins they love) by sharing something a bit ‘weird’ or unique. Something you know they’ll love or mean something to them. It can be as small as a meme or trinket you found at an antique store that reminded you of them.
5. Acts of service: Helping your loved ones knock something off their to-do list can help alleviate stress and show appreciation for them. Support and/or service swapping is a common way of showing love for people with ADHD. Maybe you struggle with your laundry but you’re great at taxes (wait, who is?), offer this trade up with your loved one, or offer to do it outright!

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5 More Ideas for Showing You Care

Exhausted the 5 love languages and want some more? We’ve got your back. Here are five additional tips for showing someone you care this Valentines Day.

👉 Practice Active Listening: One of the most important things you can do to show someone you care is to listen to them. People often just want to be heard, and a supportive and attentive ear can make all the difference. When they're speaking, give them your full attention, ask questions, and show that you're interested in what they have to say. Make sure to avoid distractions, put away your phone, and focus on what they are saying. This shows them you care about what they have to say, and will make them feel appreciated and valued.

👉 Get Personal: Personalize your gifts and gestures to show that you've put thought into them. For example, you could write a heartfelt letter, send an audio note or email, create a photo album, or make a playlist of songs that remind you of your person. You don't need to be poetic or overly sentimental - just a few heartfelt words can make a big impact.

👉 Plan a Surprise: Surprises are a great way to show people you care. Make sure this person likes surprises though—remember, everyone is different. Some ideas are: cooking their favorite meal, arranging a picnic, or organizing a movie marathon. The options are endless, so be spontaneous and creative - what matters most is that you are thinking of your loved one and their happiness.

👉 Give the Gift of Time: One of the most meaningful gifts you can give someone is your time. Plan a special activity, such as cooking a meal together, going for a hike, or simply spending quality time together.

👉 Offer Your Help: Sometimes, the best way to show someone you care is by offering to help them. Maybe a big extravagant day isn’t what they need right now because they’re buried in work or chores. Perhaps running an errand for them, helping them with a task they’ve been putting off, or making a joint adventure out of something they’re procrastinating.

Remember, the most important thing on Valentine's Day is to show your loved ones that you care. Showing someone you care doesn't have to be complicated or expensive. At the end of the day, it's the thought that counts.

So go ahead and show your loved ones how much you care today!

We can’t wait to see all the different ways you guys show up and show love.